


lose it

by toriiixoox



Series: lose it [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Music, Mutual Pining, Song fic, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, hard pining, literally so cute, oblivious tsukki, sharing earphones, they make playlists for each other, they walk to school every day, together, tsukki is a cute gentleman who helps his mom with groceries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25754497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toriiixoox/pseuds/toriiixoox
Summary: Music was a massive part of Yamaguchi's life and so was Tsukishima Kei. So it's only natural that those two things would cross eventually, right?Alternatively: Yamaguchi makes a playlist for Tsukishima and now it's all Tsukishima can think or talk about.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: lose it [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868281
Comments: 21
Kudos: 255





	lose it

**Author's Note:**

> hello i love this fic so much that I actually created the two playlists from them. I highly recommend listening to them while you read or before. Specifically, listen to No Lights on the Horizon by Metric because it's very heavy at the end. ((also it was influenced heavily by lose it by SWMRS))
> 
> [FOR TSUKKI!!!!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1HSXKFA1qzxPtMSUbcfT66?si=h16ypedMSOSjYQBEVPvz3w) // [Playlist for Yamaguchi](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6I91wDuPWYsluM7ooqKj6P?si=HSetiBJMTyeDdaXZNLKbVQ)
> 
> There will be a second part of this series eventually. I can't stop thinking about it so, be on the lookout for a continuation!

The first day that Yamaguchi and Tsukishima meet, Yamaguchi is just trying to make polite conversation while he waits for the bus. Typically, he walked home from school, just a short 15-minute commute, but today it’s downpouring and Yamaguchi can’t be bothered to wait it out. The tall blonde is the only other person at the bus stop right now. He has headphones on, but Yamaguchi is getting antsy at how long the bus is taking and he didn’t bring his earphones today. He’s fidgeting with his hoodie strings, shifting his weight back and forth, tapping his finger on the side of his cheek, bouncing his leg up and down as he waits. 

“Can you stop moving?” Tsukishima asks, pulling his headphones down around his neck. 

Yamaguchi feels warm in the face, stopping all of his body movements briefly before they all want to come back to pass the time. “Sorry,” he mumbles. He hears the music still blaring from his headphones. If he can’t fidget while he waits, he might as well try to pick up a conversation. “What are you listening to?” he nods towards the headphones on his neck. 

“Music,” he answers back, quietly, but not reaching to pull his headphones back up around his ears. He waits for Yamaguchi to answer him to see if he actually cares about what he’s listening to or if he’s just making small talk. 

“What kind of music? Like what song?” Yamaguchi prods further, trying to see if he can recognize the sound from around his neck. 

“Black Sheep by Metric.” His answer is short, not following it up with any questions or further information, just naming the song. 

“I haven’t heard of them, I don’t think,” Yamaguchi admits. When the blonde doesn’t look like he’s going to continue the conversation any further, he presses on, trying to find some sort of grounds to fill the stillness in the air. “I normally listen to music on my way home, but I forgot my headphones today.” Still, nothing. 

When he starts to reach for the headphones around his neck, Yamaguchi presses even further. “Do you usually take the bus?” It’s quiet for a second and Yamaguchi knows that if whoever this is doesn’t reply to him now, he’s made a complete fool of himself. The bus is approaching now, the sound of it getting closer drowning out Yamaguchi’s defeated sigh. 

“Not usually,” he admits. Yamaguchi barely wants to reply after how long the guy waited to answer his proding question. He obviously just wants to listen to his music and never have to talk to Yamaguchi again. 

Or so he thought.

After waiting for the bus to come to a complete stop, he stands, leaving Yamaguchi sitting on the bench by himself, too focused on how tall this guy actually is. “Usually I walk home, but it’s raining.” He’s not even looking in Yamaguchi’s direction as he speaks.

The doors for the bus swing open outwardly, nudging their conversation forwards and grabbing Yamaguchi’s attention. He gets up to meet the other guy’s stance, or, tries to anyways. The height difference between the two of them is even more prominent now that they’re standing next to each other. The blonde starts to move forward, stepping up onto the bus stairs and down the rubber walkway. After passing a few rows in the very front, he gently slides into a row of seats, pressing himself up against the window and putting his bag in between his feet.

Yamaguchi doesn’t know whether to keep the weirdly paced conversation moving and sit next to him or if he should just go sit towards the back of the bus like he always does. If he does break away from the small amounts of conversation that they’ve established, he has determined that this was the most awkward encounter of his life. 

One more step and he would have passed the point of no return, on his way to a seat in the back of the bus never to see whoever this was again. The return of his voice knocks him out of his trance. “Do you live near?” He looks pained as he attempts to pick up the conversation from back outside. It’s somehow calming, the solidarity that the look of uncomfortability has created between the two of them. 

Placing his hand on the back of the seat in front of him, he uses it to swing himself carefully into the seat next to the guy with the glasses. He should probably stop referring to him as  _ “the guy” _ with different physical descriptors. Yamaguchi nods at the question, before telling him his name. “I’m Yamaguchi, by the way.”

“Tsukishima.” He doesn’t add a  _ “Nice to meet ya!”  _ or a welcoming hand gesture, just returns the pleasantry. Even so, Yamaguchi feels warm solely at this guy- Tsukishima saying his own name. They don’t talk again until Tsukishima informs Yamaguchi that his stop is next and Yamaguchi gets overly excited at the fact that they’re getting off at the same place.

Every day after that, the two of them walk home together. Oftentimes they commute in silence, but Tsukishima braced him for that the first time that Yamaguchi had asked. Specifically, he had said, “I like to listen to music on the way home.” In hindsight, Yamaguchi might have been much too enthusiastic to travel home with someone in silence. 

It was just about the presence, honestly. Tsukishima might not have seemed like the type of person whose company you’d enjoy, but for Yamaguchi, his quietness and honesty was refreshing. The way that he would respond so level-headedly to all of the ramblings that came out of Yamaguchi’s mouth was something he never expected. Sometimes he would roll his eyes and mumble at him to shut up, but even then, watching Tsukishima warm up to him was one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. 

* * *

Yamaguchi enjoyed music a lot. Tsukishima enjoyed music a lot. Music was the entire reason that they had started talking in the first place. But the first time Yamaguchi asked Tsukki what he was listening to was the last time that they had ever talked about music. It was weird, really, the fact that music was so prevalent in both of their lives, but neither of them knew what the other was listening to. Four out of the five days that they would make their way home together, both boys would have separate headphones on listening to separate music. 

The entire reason that Yamaguchi even started making the playlist is because of a stupid passing comment that Tsukishima made. How was he supposed to bring up the fact that he spent all night (he doesn’t have to say it like that, but it’s the truth) making a very specific playlist for Tsukishima to listen to all because he said, “My playlists have been so repetitive lately.” That’s it. That’s all he said and Yamaguchi hadn’t been able to get it out of his head since. 

Yamaguchi hadn’t told Tsukki that as soon as he said that, all he wanted to do was rush home to give him music recommendations, no, instead he just responded with, “I’m sure your music is great, Tsukki! I don’t really know what it is… but I’m sure it’s great!” Tsukki just scoffed. 

It was this small interaction, this stupid, insignificant exchange that caused Yamaguchi to barely get any sleep that night. In fact, he got so little sleep that Tsukishima had to call his phone 4 times while outside his front door. It felt like he had just fallen asleep minutes ago when he awoke to Tsukki’s calls, telling him that he would be out in 5. There was a groan and a mumble and (Yamaguchi couldn’t actually prove this, but he knew it happened) an eye roll on the other side of the phone before the line went dead. He didn’t have time to grab breakfast or brush his hair or find a matching pair of socks, only to throw on a crumpled outfit and gargle with mouthwash before meeting Tsukishima outside of his door. 

He, of course, had his headphones around his ears blaring music that Yamaguchi would never know. As soon as Yamaguchi locks the front door behind him, Tsukki starts moving. It takes Yamaguchi a small jog to catch up with Tsukishima’s large gate, but he manages. It was another day of listening to their separate music and staying in conversational silence. 

When Yamaguchi pulls up his music app, the words  **_FOR TSUKKI!!!!_ ** bombard him. He’s instantly feeling warm and his phone feels heavier for some reason. With all of the insane amounts of rushing that he had to do this morning, he almost forgot  _ why _ he was feeling so tired. Should he try to give Tsukki his playlist now or should he wait for a better time? When was a better time? Was there ever a better time? One look at his best friend’s bored face pushed him to start speaking. It’s not necessarily strange for Tsukishima to look bored, but when it’s just the two of them on their way to school in the morning, Tsukki is usually bobbing his head or the right side of his lip is tugged upwards or he’s tapping his fingers against the middle of his thigh. Maybe Yamaguchi watches Tsukki listen to music too much. 

“Uh, Tsukki.” He’s quiet at first, just making contact with Tsukishima’s forearm so gently that he jumps, pulling the headphones down around his neck. He doesn’t verbally respond, only tilts his head and cocks an eyebrow. If this was a verbal response it would be something along the lines of  _ “Why exactly are you interrupting my music?” _

Yamaguchi doesn’t know exactly how to tell Tsukishima that he made him a playlist without sounding like he’s automatically confessing to him. Is it even possible? He doesn’t even have anything to physically give him, so he can’t shove something into his hands or fidget with it while he’s telling him about it. He’ll just have to text it to him after he finishes telling him about it. “I, uh- I know that you said your playlist was getting repetitive,” he starts. Tsukishima just blinks. Yamaguchi knows this blink as okay to move on. “I made you one. With music that I like.” His eyelids instinctively squeeze shut and his mind is telling him to fix this, even though he doesn’t know exactly how it’s broken.

“I don’t know if you’ll like any of the music! Which is probably stupid to make a playlist that I don’t know if you’ll like, but I just figured that you said that your music was getting repetitive so mine is probably super left field.” His brain only lets him take one breath before barreling forward again. “If you don’t like it that’s totally okay! You don’t even have to listen to it if you don’t want to! I don’t think it’s  _ your type _ of music, so, I mean-.” 

Tsukishima interrupts Yamaguchi before he can babble on any further. “Tch. Shut up, there’s no  _ my type _ of music. There’s just music. I like all music.” When Yamaguchi just gawks back at him, he continues, “I’m going to listen to it.” It’s only now that he’s realizing that they’ve both stopped in the middle of the road and are just staring at each other. “Yesterday,” he clears his throat, “Yesterday you said that you didn’t know what I listened to, so I put something together for you, too. I’ll text it to you.” Tsukishima starts moving again. 

Yamaguchi is in such a daze that by the time he realizes, Tsukki is almost 40 paces ahead of him. “Okay!” he shouts in front of him. Tiredness spreads throughout his legs as he finally slows down next to Tsukki, but he doesn’t mind. “Thank you, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi exclaims, not really caring about how pathetically overzealous he sounds for something that he literally had done for Tsukki. He knows exactly how much care went into his playlist for Tsukki and it’s just adding how ecstatic he is. His heart feels almost as happy as the look he’s showing on his face. “Thank you, Tsukki,” he repeats again. By the time they’ve made it to school, his cheeks hurt and he’s said thank you more times than he can count on his fingers and toes. 

* * *

Each song that he listens to reminds him more and more of Tsukki. He can recall the little bits of certain melodies that he’s heard when the headphones are wrapped around his neck instead of tightly encasing his ears. There are a few songs that surprise him on the playlist, but only for a moment before remembering what Tsukki said about not having a certain genre of music that he listens to. Despite the differences in the respective songs, he finds himself liking every single one of them for their own reasons, and, if for nothing else, because Tsukki likes them. He’s becoming increasingly aware of how mature and varied Tsukishima’s playlist is compared to his. 

What if Tsukishima doesn’t like his playlist? He has no doubts in his mind that if Tsukki doesn’t like his playlist, he will definitely tell him, but Yamaguchi doesn’t know if that makes his anxieties better or worse. Would he rather just not know if Tsukki hated his playlist? Maybe he wouldn’t even listen to it. 

He’s bullshitting his way through a paper when he notices that Tsukishima’s username moves to the top of his Friend Activity column. 

**Tsukishima_K**   
Manta Rays   
chloe moriondo   
~  _ FOR TSUKKI!!!! _

That was the first song of his playlist. Suddenly, his chest feels tight and he can’t seem to focus on padding sentences with words that just did not matter or add content whatsoever. Instead, he watches intently as the name of the song changes, but never prematurely. Pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, he sits and watches Tsukki listen to his playlist the entire way through. There are only 10 songs on his playlist, but his stomach is doing flips as he watches Tsukki listen to it. 

He wonders if Tsukki can tell how much thought he put into each and every one of those songs. Yamaguchi had a lot of songs to choose from, to make a playlist from. He was constantly listening to new music, finding new songs that he liked, adding them to his arsenal of things to listen to on his commutes with Tsukki. He compressed all of this down into 10 thoughtful songs. Some of them weren’t just about the music, the sound, or the lyrics in general. Some of the songs he specifically picked out because even before he was making the playlist, they made him think about Tsukki. He hopes that these will be Tsukki’s favorites, or, at bare minimum, songs that he can tolerate. 

As Tsukki’s username lingers on the last song of the playlist, Yamaguchi is waiting in anticipated breathlessness for it to be over. His phone is resting on the desk, face-up, ringer turned on to notify him of any incoming messages. Though, the sound didn’t really have to be on at all considering that his eyes only move from the screen when he’s making sure that Tsukki is still finishing the song. Until the one time that he’s not. 

**Tsukishima_K** 2 m   
OK   
Wallows   
~  _ FOR TSUKKI!!!! _

Tsukki had finished listening to his playlist exactly 2 minutes ago. 2 minutes was definitely enough time for him to text Yamaguchi that he had listened to all of the songs. Yamaguchi gives him the benefit of the doubt, picking his phone up and opening his messages. His eyes are burning into Tsukki’s name at the top of the conversation, flicking down only slightly to check on the possibility of those three daunting dots.

The dots never come.

* * *

When he meets Tsukki at his front door the next morning, he’s not expecting Tsukki to say anything about the playlist. He figures that he’ll have to ask him how he liked it and get over Tsukishima being weirded out that he saw him listening to the playlist. At the very least, if he does bring it up, he’s expecting Tsukishima to give him a 5-7 word reply much like every reply that he gets from him. 

But what he’s expecting and what he gets are two completely different things. When it comes to music, Tsukishima is evidently very passionate and knowledgeable and excited and he wants to share it all with Yamaguchi. When he opens his front door, the headphones are nowhere to be seen. They’re not in his hands, around his neck, slightly off of one ear, completely on his head,  _ nowhere _ . “I listened to your playlist last night,” Tsukishima says before Yamaguchi can even lock the door behind him. The lack of initial enthusiasm sends Yamaguchi straight into a state of panic. 

“Oh! Don’t worry about it! It’s okay! I- I know you probably didn’t really like some of the songs, or maybe any of the songs. I know that it’s kinda repetitive and soft,” Yamaguchi cringes at himself for using the word soft. 

“I liked it a lot,” Tsukishima shoots. The tone of his voice is not an embarrassing admittance, but rather an underlying excitement of sharing mutual interests. “It was definitely different than what I usually listen to, but it was good.”

The entire time that they walk to school, stepping in time, Tsukishima slowing his stride to match Yamaguchi’s so that they don’t get there as quickly, he gives Yamaguchi his full analysis of the songs. Tsukki goes over how he felt about the different instrumentals and highlights certain lyrics that spoke to him. He dotes on the way that some of the songs really spoke to him, how glad he is that Yamaguchi introduced him to a new genre of music that he’s never really dove into before. 

For being as smart as he is, Yamaguchi is dumbfounded by how dense Tsukki is when it comes to someone that’s pining so hard for him. During one point of their conversation as they got closer to their destination, Tsukishima read a lyric that he had written down so that he wouldn’t forget it. 

_ “I'd wait for an hour, I'd wait for a year _ _  
_ _ Is your opinion on it something I wanna hear? _ _  
_ _ I know you never lie, but I self-sabotage _ _  
_ _ I know your love isn't just a mirage” _

Tsukishima Kei says these words aloud, noting the depth and appreciating the subtle rhyme between sabotage and mirage, but he can’t, for the life of him, grasp how perfectly handpicked these words were just for him. He doesn’t notice how Yamaguchi’s breath stills as he’s describing them, nor does the thought even cross his mind that this part of the song specifically almost made Yamaguchi keep it off the playlist, it was that obvious to him. 

Yamaguchi doesn’t even have time to tell Tsukki how much he loved his playlist before they made it to school, they were talking about his so much. Neither of them seems to mind, though. When they see each other again at lunch, Tsukishima doesn’t listen to music while he quietly eats from his bento, he keeps talking about the songs that Yamaguchi recommended for him. By the time they’re both ready to head home, he’s repeated himself about  **Presumably Dead Arm** 3 times. On the fourth reiteration, the freckled boy knows exactly what he’s going to say before he even says it, but he still likes to hear him talk. He’s surprised that it’s his favorite, the lyrics are really cool, he could listen to the beginning riff over and over for days. Yamaguchi could listen to Tsukki over and over for days. 

Knowing that they’re only 5 streets from Yamaguchi’s house, he chooses to change the subject just slightly, wanting Tsukki to know that he really liked his songs as well. The lack of critical analysis of the songs like Tsukishima had given him makes him feel somewhat guilty. Sure, he had enjoyed the songs a lot, but his enthusiasm felt dismal compared to the fawning that Tsukki did a few minutes ago. 

Still, Yamaguchi does his best to recapitulate how much he liked the songs. Just as his playlist was for Tsukki, Tsukki’s playlist was not music that he typically listened to. He describes the songs as “mature” and “refined”, putting his own music down in the process as he rubs the back of his neck. The blonde nods along as Yamaguchi prattles about his music. He feels so out of his element but watching Tsukishima react to certain parts that he highlights makes him feel more and more confident as they get closer to home. Once they’ve reached the entrance to Yamaguchi’s house, they’re both aware of how much the two of them had talked today and how different it was than their normal commute. They’re also conscious of the fact that neither of them wants to stop talking. They’ve created such a rapturous back and forth that stopping now feels like a shame. 

Particularly, Yamaguchi didn’t want to let this moment escape them. He was so ready to be turned down before the question even fully formed in his mind. “Do you want to come inside?” Before he could even really register what he was saying, the question had left his mouth. This was new territory for both of them. Tsukishima had seen the outside of Yamaguchi’s house more times than he could remember, but had never, not once, seen inside of it. In fact, Yamaguchi had only seen the outside of Tsukki’s house a handful of times in all the years that they knew each other. He only ever went to Tsukki’s house when he didn’t meet him at his door.

It’s quiet for a few seconds as Tsukishima thinks about his answer, probably just forming a way to let Yamaguchi down easy. He’s about to redact his offer when Tsukki nods. As soon as he steps foot inside of the living room, all of the tension from the outside is gone. Sure, when they walk home, they’re alone together, but this was different. With no one inside this small space but the two of them, any chance of peering eyes or running into mutual friends out the window, both boys relaxed thoroughly. It was like an entirely new side of Tsukki.

Every worry that came to Yamaguchi’s head when he was standing on the opposite side of the door, feeling the cool breeze and listening to the leaves rustle, was totally gone. Tsukishima took his shoes off and set them so gingerly next to Yamaguchi’s before following him up to his room. They don’t miss a beat in their conversation, flowing so fluidly between the two of them like never before. Even pushing into Yamaguchi’s room, Tsukishima sets his bag by the door like he’s been there a million times and pulls out Yamaguchi’s desk chair and plops right down into it. Yamaguchi doesn’t even feel the slightest bit awkward as he picks up his dirty laundry from beside his floor and actually puts it into the hamper. It feels perfectly normal. 

They talk for hours, moving from music briefly a few times, but keeping it as the main topic. Yamaguchi, at one point, had turned on his liked songs on his laptop, reaching over Tsukki slightly and trying his best to focus on the computer and not the fact that if Tsukishima tilted his head just a sliver, it would be resting on his shoulder. 

Tsukishima no longer had a bored look on his face while he listened to the music. He watched him bob his head slightly and tap his foot against the carpeted floor to the beat. During one of the songs, he even turned the volume on Yamaguchi’s laptop up to 100, forgoing the conversation for the duration and just sitting in the plush chair, head back, and a serene smile falling on his lips. Yamaguchi didn’t mind one bit. 

When Yamaguchi’s mom throws open the front door, alerting the two boys from the upstairs room, they both head downstairs to greet her. Yamaguchi watches so intently as Tsukishima bows slightly before helping her with the groceries in her hands and asking if there are more in the car. She replies with a surprised yes and Tsukki is already halfway out the door, Yamaguchi jogging to try to keep up with him. Bringing groceries inside has never been more rewarding. 

Despite his mom’s numerous attempts at having Tsukki stay for dinner, excited to finally meet Yamaguchi’s best friend after all of this time, Tsukishima insists that he heads home, explaining that his mother is expecting him. He thanks Yamaguchi’s mom several times before throwing his bag over his shoulder, waving to Yamaguchi, and leaving. 

His mom will not stop talking about how nice Tsukishima Kei is after he leaves, but Yamaguchi can barely pay attention. He’s much more concerned with how his room probably smells a little bit like Tsukki now. It does. 

After he’s left, Yamaguchi watches Tsukishima’s username on the side of his screen listen to the same 10 songs on repeat, blushing as it solidifies how much Tsukishima actually likes the music that he recommended. 

* * *

This becomes a common practice between the two of them, getting so enthralled in their conversation on the way home that it continues into Yamaguchi’s room. He’s even started staying for dinner a few times. Yamaguchi’s mom loves it almost as much as Yamaguchi does, he’s convinced. Tsukki never fails to help prep before dinner, cutting vegetables and putting rice in the cooker, always doing small tasks for his mom with such care and concentration, but the smile never leaving his face. After dinner, Tsukki insists on doing the dishes as well. No matter how many times she fights him, his mom always loses the battle. Tsukki washes each dish carefully, setting it in the rack for Yamaguchi to dry and put away. It’s truly unfair how cute Tsukishima is without even trying. 

It’s not just Yamaguchi that’s feeling the effects and changes that Tsukishima’s visits are bringing. Tsukishima notices how different he feels, how much lighter and happier he feels when he’s alone with Yamaguchi. After they’ve eaten dinner, cleaned the kitchen, thanked his mom repetitively, they make their way back up to Yamaguchi’s room, assuming their usual positions comfortably sprawled out on the respective bed and chair. 

Their talks aren’t wholly surrounding the playlists anymore, finding other shared interests than just music and volleyball. They start playing video games together, something light enough for Yamaguchi, but challenging enough for Tsukki. They do their homework together. Yamaguchi is overwhelmingly grateful for this seeing that Tsukishima is beyond smart and Yamaguchi is just doing his best to get something slightly above average. Sometimes, though, they just sit in silence, on their phones or reading a book or just throwing a volleyball back and forth. Truthfully, these are Yamaguchi’s favorite times. It’s different, he notices, then the silence they experience on their way home. This silence is much more thoughtful now. Besides, it doesn’t hurt that he gets to glance up at Tsukki spinning in his chair slowly while he mindlessly scrolls on his phone. It doesn’t hurt that Yamaguchi gets to see first hand when Tsukki’s ears literally perk up a new song that plays from his laptop speakers. It doesn’t hurt that when they make slight eye contact, Tsukki doesn’t instantly pull away, letting his eyes linger before smiling so faintly that it almost goes unseen.  _ Almost _ . 

* * *

The more that they’ve been hanging out together, the more songs are added to Yamaguchi’s playlist for Tsukki. He makes it a habit of updating the playlist every few nights, adding songs that he thinks Tsukki might like or just, sometimes, putting self-indulgent pining songs that he knows will fly over Tsukki’s head completely. 

Well, typically they fly over Tsukki’s head completely. This time, he’s not so sure that it will. 

His hand is shaking as he clicks the various buttons on the screen. It’s not just one button that he needs to click and then subsequently freak out that he actually did it. There were so many steps to get the song onto the playlist that he couldn’t even pretend it was an accident. 

Yesterday after school, Tsukishima almost didn’t accept his offer to come inside. His t-shirt was soaked from the downpour that unleashed upon them for the last half of their run home. He’s not sure if it was Tsukki’s hesitancy to pass up the opportunity, the way his hair was laying flat from all of the rain, or the fact that he had to squint past the droplets of rain on his glasses to even make out Yamaguchi’s face. 

“I have some clothes you could change into,” Yamaguchi blurted. It sounded weird coming out of his mouth, so he tried to justify himself. “You could just wait here until it stops raining, I mean. That way you wouldn’t have to finish walking home in the rain.”

It was raining harder now, the large drops splattering on the top of Tsukki’s head and shoulders. “Sure, yeah,” Tsukki replied, stepping inside of the entrance. He stood there, on the rug, water dripping from his clothes, awkwardly waiting for Yamaguchi to tell him it was okay to move. He didn’t want to get water all over the floors. 

“Come on,” Yamaguchi gestured with his hand, nodding upstairs. He almost took Tsukki’s hand in his when he didn't start moving immediately. He’s kinda sad that he didn’t have to. 

Most of the clothes in Yamaguchi’s drawers were undoubtedly too small for Tsukki, so he had to dig all the way into the back. He grabbed some clean socks, a pair of sweatpants that are too big for him, and an old, large t-shirt that he hadn’t seen in years. He folded them all neatly, despite the fact that he knew they would be unfolded in mere minutes, before handing them gently to Tsukki who gave a small thanks before leaving to get changed. 

When he returned back into his room, Yamaguchi’s heart was suddenly very thankful that rain exists. He hadn’t seen those clothes in years, but they were still his and they were still fitting very snug on his best friend. Tsukki had his arms out in front of him, holding the folded pile of soaking clothes as far away from him as possible. 

“Here, I’ll throw them in the dryer,” Yamaguchi said, taking the clothes. Tsukki looked simultaneously more comfortable than he had ever seen him and the least. Though, when he returned back to his room, he saw Tsukki fully relaxed, fidgeting with his computer, punching in the password he knew by heart now and putting on his favorite song. 

The rain didn’t last very long, only increasing in severity for a few minutes and then completely dissipating. The second that the sun started shining, Tsukishima got a call from his mother, asking him, though she didn’t really need to, where he was at and telling him to come home. In the midst of the storm and Yamaguchi’s clothing, Tsukki had forgotten that Akiteru was coming home for the night. He apologized to Yamaguchi once before leaving in a rush.

That small sequence of events is what leads to Yamaguchi doing something stupid that he will probably end up regretting. Tsukki’s t-shirt was dried, sitting on top of the stack of clothing that he had left in his dryer. Yamaguchi let his fingers run over the soft fabric lightly, wondering what it would feel like to be wrapped in Tsukki’s scent before ultimately deciding that putting this song on the playlist was embarrassing enough. 

_ right click, Add to Playlist, FOR TSUKKI!!!! _

He glanced down at the clock on his screen. By this time, Tsukki should be locked away in his room, lying on his bed or sitting at his desk just as he sits by Yamaguchi. Either way, he should be listening to music while he does whatever else he’s doing, he typically is. 

**Tsukishima_K**   
Favorite T-Shirt - Acoustic   
Jake Scott   
~  _ FOR TSUKKI!!!! _

Yamaguchi shuts his laptop abruptly, his heart nearly beating right out of his chest, threatening to at least climb his throat and splatter onto the desk in front of him. He normally loved to sit in anticipation as he watched Tsukki listen to whatever song he’d recommended, but this time was different. A few minutes of anxiously waiting at his desk go by before Yamaguchi timidly opens his laptop back up. Staring back at him is the same few words, no change at all. There isn’t anything notifying him that Tsukki had stopped listening. The tiny speaker icon was still there, sitting mockingly right next to his username. He shut his laptop again only to open up another few minutes later. 

**Tsukishima_K**   
Favorite T-Shirt - Acoustic   
Jake Scott   
~  _ FOR TSUKKI!!!! _

No change whatsoever. He slams his laptop shut again for the final time. He turns his phone off, despite the fact that Tsukki never texted him about the songs anyways, and climbs into bed, pulling the blankets up over his head and waiting patiently for sleep to overcome him. 

* * *

Tsukishima doesn’t mention anything about the song when they walk to school the next day. Yamaguchi knows that he listened to it. He watched him listen to it last night on repeat, but he’s acting like it didn’t exist. Why? Every other song that Yamaguchi had recommended to him he would tell him in-depth details about why and what specifically he loved about his songs. Why was this one any different? Did Yamaguchi fuck something up? He had been finding so much joy lately in talking to Tsukishima about something that they’re both very passionate about. He didn’t want it to end because he made a rash decision about trying to vaguely confess his feelings to his best friend over a playlist. 

The entire day is spent with Tsukishima listening to music on his headphones and not talking to Yamaguchi. He curses the mobile app for not letting him know what Tsukki is listening to all day. He can’t stop himself from worrying so consistently that his heart rate doesn’t calm down until he’s safely back in his room. He didn’t even try to ask Tsukki if he wanted to come inside today. He tries to force himself to do some schoolwork, but all he wants to do is text Tsukki and flat out ask him what he thought about his song. 

He doesn’t do that. His attention is needed elsewhere. 

Before his eyes, the playlist that Tsukishima made for him was updated. Yamaguchi had added a number of songs to his tiny playlist over the few months that they had been listening to and talking about each other’s music. Tsukishima had not added another song once, so this was peculiar, especially after his behavior today. 

**yamwhoiyam** **  
** No Lights on the Horizon   
Metric   
~ Playlist for Yamaguchi

As soon as he started to listen to the song, Yamaguchi was convinced that he didn’t have to ever listen to any other song again. After so many added songs that were so desperately trying to bring attention to his feelings for Tsukki, Yamaguchi doesn’t allow himself to feel doubt for even a second. After the timing of everything, Yamaguchi refused to believe that this was just a coincidence, that these song lyrics were just that… lyrics. Every time that he relistened to the song, eyes closed, the melody and lines filling his earphones, surrounding him entirely, it solidified even more so. He falls asleep, still dressed in his school clothes, having not eaten dinner, listening to Tsukki’s virtual confession, and feeling the happiest that he has in weeks. 

The following day, Yamaguchi takes a swing. Tsukishima is back to being void of headphones today, instead opting for their typical conversation. They both steer clear of what were essentially love confessions for the other. Yamaguchi doesn’t mention anything about the song that he spent endless hours listening to last night and this morning. Rather, he offers his earbud. He pulls them out of his back pocket slowly, hesitantly, despite how sure of himself he is today. He plugs them into his phone as he stays focused on their discussion. He doesn’t really ask, more so just holds the earphone out towards Tsukki as he keeps his steps in time. 

Tsukishima falters for only a moment before grasping the small bud, fingers brushing against Yamaguchi’s so lightly that he almost blushes. They have to walk closer now, the thin wire connecting their two ears. Typically, they listen to music together when they get back to Yamaguchi’s house, but this isn’t just for the sake of sharing tunes. No, this is Yamaguchi taking a leap of faith and Tsukki proving him right. It’s strange at first, the lack of distance between them and the increased coordination as they step carefully to ensure that the earphone stays securely in place, but when they finally make it to school, it feels so normal that neither of them wants to go their separate ways. Though, the more people that start walking next to them, the warmer Yamaguchi feels. He keeps glancing up at Tsukki, trying to see any amount of regret or worry on his face as people gaze in their direction, but he never finds any. Only when the teacher enters the room do they pull apart. Yamaguchi tucks his earphone into his back pocket, hoping that he’ll need them later again, and faces forwards.

They sit closely at lunch, talking over the soft music coming from the earphones. Yamaguchi is talking enthusiastically about the serves that he’s been learning and Tsukki is nodding along politely, offering responses that might have even passed as encouragement if you squint hard enough. When he’s done talking, realizing that their lunch break is almost over and his hand had been fervently resting on Tsukki’s knee for far too long, he apologizes, removing his arm. Though Tsukki doesn’t verbally reply, Yamaguchi is almost positive that he sees his shoulders sink just slightly at the lack of contact. 

After their entire day of intimately sharing earphones, each taking turns to put on various songs, both that they’ve grown to love and have never heard, it wouldn’t have been right if he hadn’t invited Tsukki inside. Even taking their shoes off, walking up the same stairs, setting their things down on Yamaguchi’s floor, they are still connected by the wire, doing the small tasks in close proximity and in time with another. Just before Yamaguchi is about to retract his earphone, Tsukki takes his phone, softly tapping letters into the search bar and playing the familiar song that confirms all of his thoughts. Despite the fact that they were now standing inches apart in his room, a place where they had repeatedly listened to music on the loud speakers of Yamaguchi’s laptop, Tsukki made no move to switch their listening device. As Metric played on their shared earphones, Yamaguchi’s knees felt a little weaker than normal. If he were to look up from the phone in Tsukki’s hands, his face would have been much too close for his heart to behave. 

_ It’s true, I’m flawed. It’s all my fault.  _

So, instead, he walks slowly over to his normal spot on the bed, the string between them gently coercing Tsukki along with him. Sitting down on his bed, he’s only feeling slightly uncomfortable. Typically, when they’re both in his room, 10 feet of space separates them, but right now there are barely 10 inches. The longer they sit like this, the more accustomed he gets to the weight on the bed and the warmth that he can feel radiating from Tsukki’s arm. Once the song has finished, Yamaguchi knows that it’s his turn to queue. After everything that has happened in the past day especially, he hopes that the meaning of this song will shine through in its entirety, unlike the first time Tsukki had listened to it. 

_ I made every mistake. Paper walls break and it’s all falling through _ . 

He lowers himself back, carefully, making sure that Tsukki is moving with him until his back is flat against the bed and his shoulder is pressed up against Tsukki’s. Their legs are still dangling off of the bed, well, Yamaguchi’s are dangling, Tsukki’s are touching the ground, but this position feels as personal as it’s going to get. With a meticulous turn of the head, Yamaguchi’s eyes meet Tsukki's, which were previously boring into the side of his head, he assumes. His face is feeling warm and his heart is, just as he expected, misbehaving, beating so loudly that he wouldn’t be surprised if Tsukki could hear it over the music in his ears. Perhaps the thumping is traveling up his chest, through his brain, out his ear, and through the conductive wire. 

_ The past, it isn’t far away. It’s part of all of us. It’s here to stay. _

His hand feels eerily cold and indescribably lonely. His fingers are grazing the sheets ever so slightly, itching for  _ something _ . The song is only halfway through when Tsukki picks it back up again, holding it above his face with one hand, his thumb straining to reach the far side of the keyboard, but not moving the hand that’s inches away from Yamaguchi’s. 

_ I’m more than able to follow through. I’m just not for everyone. I might be just for you. _

There was a natural order of things. There was a way that Yamaguchi and Tsukki listened to music that had been in place since the first day that they started. They alternated songs, queueing them if the thought popped into their mind before the other’s had finished. Yamaguchi is expecting just that. He’s waiting for his song to finish, excited for whatever Tsukki has put on to play next.

_ If it wasn’t for your kindness, I think I might be dead. If it wasn’t for the way you said, “Oh, stay with me instead.” _

But he doesn’t get to listen to the end of what he’s put on. Instead, Tsukki’s song starts playing immediately, cutting off the singer mid-sentence. Yamaguchi isn’t angry in the slightest, more so, he’s just shocked. His shock only grows when that familiar guitar riff and drum beat starts again. For the third time in 24 hours, the second time that Tsukki has put it on, Yamaguchi is listening to  **No Lights on the Horizon** by Metric. It’s not that he minds relistening to the song, he just wasn’t expecting it, any of it. 

_ No lights on the horizon, no sign of what’s ahead. If it wasn’t for your kindness lately, I’d never get out of bed.  _

He meant what he thought last night. He doesn’t really feel the need to listen to any song other than this one, not when this song is so painfully Tsukki and so endearingly handpicked for him to hear. They lie in silence for the entirety of the song, Yamaguchi staring up at the ceiling until his eyelids flitter shut and he just takes in the moment and every sound of the song. When it’s nearing its end, Yamaguchi goes to pick up the phone, attempting to get the natural order of things back, but Tsukishima is obviously looking for disorder today. He grabs the phone out of Yamaguchi’s hands, not forcefully, but with purpose. He taps twice before setting it back down on the bed, just waiting. Yamaguchi doesn’t touch it again, patiently standing by until Tsukki’s next song plays, but there is no next song. 

_ The past, it isn’t far away. In spite of all of us, it’s here to stay.  _

There is no next song, only the same song repeating again. Yamaguchi turns his head, ear completely against the bed, eyes locked on the soft profile of Tsukki’s face as he stares at the ceiling. His eyes are closed much like Yamaguchi’s were a few seconds ago. Tsukki wasn’t saying a word, wasn’t even breathing loud enough to notice, but his entire body was screaming. 

_ I’m more than able to follow through, just not for everyone, maybe just for you. _

Yamaguchi balls his hands into fists, relaxing them flat, and then tensing again repeatedly, slowly, making sure that it doesn’t bother Tsukki. After losing count of the number of times he’s tensed and untensed, his hand drifts, searching for the other’s. His fingers crawl against the sheets, anticipating the touch before it even happens. Yamaguchi doesn’t have enough courage to look down at the gap between their fingers, too worried about looking like an idiot. 

_ It’s true, I’m flawed. It’s all my fault.  _

When his pinky brushes against the soft skin of Tsukki’s wrists, his breath stutters. He feels Tsukishima tense for a fraction of a second before easing. He takes the ease (and the lack of utter disgust on his face) as an okay to keep going. His pinky is searching for something to grasp to turn Tsukki’s hand around so that he could lace their fingers together. His stomach is unforgiving at every bump and groove of the bones in Tsukki’s hand. He hooks his pinky around his pointer finger, his ring finger snaked behind Tsukki’s, as he gently flips his hand around, resting the back of it against the soft sheets. Running his fingertips down Tsukki’s arm, he can feel his pulse quickening as he quickly interlocks their fingers, letting out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. 

_ I’ve made every mistake. Paper walls break and it’s all falling through. _

Tsukki doesn’t pull his hand back in revolt or sit straight up or just flat out leave. No, Tsukki squeezes his fingers around Yamaguchi’s small hand, his eyelids mimicking the squeeze. Yamaguchi is feeling, despite his irrational fear of fucking something up beyond repair from the steps he’s making, incredible. 

_ If it wasn’t for your kindness, I think I might be dead. If it wasn’t for the way you said, “Oh, stay with me instead.” No lights on the horizon, no sign on what’s ahead. If it wasn’t for your kindness lately, I’d never get out of bed.  _

The song plays twice more before Tsukki opens his eyes again. Readjusting to the bright light and the well-known surroundings of Yamaguchi’s room, he runs his thumb over the back of Yamaguchi’s hand. Turning his head, he’s expecting to see the side of Yamaguchi’s head, the earphone sitting nicely in his ear and his hair flat against the bed. However, he’s met with eye contact, a soft and caring gaze reciprocated that causes a smile to form underneath freckled cheeks. 

The words of the song won’t stop hammering into Yamaguchi’s heart directly. He knows how obvious his flickering eyes are, but he can’t seem to bring himself to care. Honestly, he hopes that Tsukki notices. There’s a war going on inside of him, two sides of his mind that are fighting for vastly different things. One side is asking for comfortability, constants, and consistency. The other side is begging for change, courage, and just the slight possibility of everything he’s ever wanted. 

The hand that’s not grasped in Tsukki’s, though shaking ever so marginally, reaches up and cups Tsukishima’s cheek. He’s waiting for the pullback, the hesitancy, the doubt, the disgust, the confusion, the flinch, but nothing comes. Tsukki pushes into his hand just slightly, letting his eyelids flutter closed for longer than normal, a delicate hum coming from his throat. Another hum follows right behind it as Yamaguchi strokes the side of Tsukki’s face lightly with his fingertips. He was so content, here, in this moment, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from wandering to Tsukki’s lips. 

Up until this moment, Tsukki had been so willing, so responsive to every one of Yamaguchi’s approaches. With everything going as smoothly as it was, with all of the confidence from the song replaying for the 5th time, with his fingers intertwined with Tsukki’s, he’s not sure he would have forgiven himself if he didn’t follow through.

His eyelids copy Tsukki’s, shutting as slowly as they can to not miss a moment of his gentle facial expression in view. He leans forward, knowing exactly where to place his lips and when they’ll meet considering the amount of time he was staring. Soft lips meet soft lips as Yamaguchi gently draws Tsukki’s head toward him. He can feel Tsukki’s body tense, but he doesn’t pull away. His fingers grasp Yamaguchi’s hand tighter, begging for him to not pull away despite the slight discomfort he’s feeling. Tsukishima refuses to tell Yamaguchi that this, despite numerous one-sided confessions and several crushes, is his first kiss. 

There’s no movement for a few beats, the song playing on and their lips pressed up against each other so delicately that they start to tingle. Yamaguchi’s fingers skim Tsukki’s cheekbones causing him to melt into the touch. He opens his mouth just a little, tilting his head minimally and propping himself up on his elbow. The new position allows him newfound leverage, using it to kiss Tsukki harder and migrate his hand from his cheek to buried in his hair. He can feel Tsukki’s breathing becoming more unstable, his pulse urgent, his heartbeat echoing, and he’s drinking in every sensation. The earphones are tangling beneath him while Tsukki is coming undone and if that isn’t his favorite thing that’s ever happened, he doesn’t know what is. The more the song repeats in their ears, the more confident Yamaguchi feels. Time slips away from them as Yamaguchi focuses solely on how good his lips taste. 

Time slips away from them so far that when the front door downstairs is unlocked, they don’t even register. It’s only the door hitting the wall and a voice that calls out, “Tadashi! Is Kei here?” followed by the answer to her own question as she notices the shoes next to the door. “Is he staying for dinner?” The door shuts downstairs and as much as Yamaguchi wants to continue kissing Tsukki until his lips are sore, the two of them pull away far too quickly, swallowing and staring back at each other. 

Tsukki shakes his head no, not trusting his own voice to speak loud enough to reach the downstairs, his breathing feeling more like panting. “No, not tonight,” Yamaguchi calls out, but his eyes don’t leave their firm stare. He’s taking in how disheveled Tsukki looks and it’s only making him want to kiss him again, but harder this time. His glasses are smudged, his hair is messy, his lips are shining almost unnoticeably so, his cheeks flushed a pretty pink, his chest is rising and falling so close in secession that they nearly overlap. 

“I should go,” he says, so low that it could be considered a whisper. This isn’t exactly the response that Yamaguchi wanted after kissing his best friend, but he nodded anyway, understanding. Tsukishima smooths out his shirt, runs a hand through his hair, wipes his lips, and clears his throat, no trace of their kiss left behind as he grabs his bag and pushes past him.

* * *

Their journey both to school the next day and back home is silent. More often than not, in the grand scheme of their relationship, but not really lately, they walk home in each other’s company without any words. This typical occurrence is almost always comfortable, but right now it feels heavy. Each chirp of a bird, each distant horn, each gentle blow of the wind feels like it’s sole purpose is to mock the fact that Yamaguchi can’t stop hyper fixating on the silence today. 

Ever since Yamaguchi had kissed Tsukishima, he felt like he needed to fill the silence with  _ something _ . He would keep talking forever until his throat was sore and hoarse if it meant that the comfort would return between them, but he wouldn’t take back the kiss. After Tsukki left yesterday, he didn’t hear anything else from him, no text, no call, nothing. Honestly, he wasn’t even really expecting him to be outside of his door that morning. He was ready to walk to school by himself, something that he hadn’t done in over a year. 

But there Tsukishima was, at his door, exactly at 7 am, despite the total void of any contact since their kiss. And there Tsukishima was, waiting by the door at exactly 2:30 pm to walk home with Yamaguchi. And here Tsukishima is, walking right next to Yamaguchi, no headphones around his ears, but not talking either. Yamaguchi’s house cannot come quickly enough. As much as he loves spending time with Tsukki normally, all he wanted was to be alone in his room after today.

“Can I come in?” The question takes Yamaguchi by surprise. After their awkward walk to school, their awkward time at school, and their awkward walk home, he wasn’t even going to pose the question. 

Tsukki, even on the best of days, was never forward enough to invite himself inside. 

Yamaguchi nods, too stunned to give an enthusiastic verbal response. He pushes the door open, setting his shoes by the door like he always does and bounding up the stairs to the sanctuary of his room. He had hoped that being alone, truly alone, within the confines of Yamaguchi’s secluded room, that Tsukki would drop this entire act, but he didn't. 

Actually, it worsens. Being back in the room where everything happened yesterday, Tsukki can’t seem to let himself relax. He keeps glancing down at the bed and then up at Yamaguchi’s lips and swallowing harshly. Yamaguchi can’t help but feel like he’s ruined every part of their friendship to the point of no return. He wants to scream apologies so loudly that Tsukishima will never forget what they sound like. He’d do anything to feel the same comfortability that he did earlier this week. 

Tsukishima is fumbling with his bag. Unlike every time he had ever been in Yamaguchi’s room, even the very first time, he had his bag draped over his shoulder. Tsukki barely felt like a guest, let alone a friend. He’s ruined everything. 

Yamaguchi sighs, probably louder than he meant to, before leaning against his wall. The bed feels too foreign for him to be in contact with right now. Tsukki, however, sits down in his usual chair, opening Yamaguchi’s laptop and quickly typing in the password. He doesn’t even have to think about it, it’s so ingrained in his mind. He puts on the song that’s been playing on repeat in his mind, even when it’s not playing on earphones or speakers. He lets the sound fill the room before standing back up in front of Yamaguchi. His shoulders look lighter now, rising with his breaths instead of fighting against them. 

He sets his bag down in its usual spot before taking a step closer to Yamaguchi. Despite not looking into his eyes, his head pointed straight at the ground, Yamaguchi can tell how nervous his best friend is. He wants to reach his hand out and grab Tsukki’s, but he doesn’t have to. 

His hand is right by his side as Tsukki wraps his fingers around them, pushing his fingers in the spaces between. His palms are sweating, but his movements are so confident. Yamaguchi’s heart flutters. There are no words being said, but Yamaguchi’s head is swarming with enough thoughts to fill the entire room. 

Tsukishima takes another step toward Yamaguchi, closing the distance between them even further. The lack of space between them makes Yamaguchi attempt to take an instinctual step backward, but he’s pressed up against the wall. His hand raises, the back of it gently brushing Yamaguchi’s cheek so gently that his eyes close. It’s so reminiscent of yesterday that his body is reacting in the same way that Tsukishima’s was. 

All he can see are the backs of his eyelids when he feels Tsukishima’s lips against his. He’s leaning down slightly to compensate for the height difference as he smushes his lips against Yamaguchi’s. It’s slightly awkward, the position that they’re in, but it fades quickly as Yamaguchi lets his hand rest on Tsukishima’s waist, instantly relaxing every tense feeling in Tsukki’s bones. He moves both of his hands up his body, wrapping them around the nape of his neck to pull Tsukki into him harder. Even with Tsukishima towering over him and pressing him against the wall, he knows that he’s the one guiding the situation. 

He pushes forward, taking a step toward Tsukki so greatly that Tsukki’s forced to take the same step back. They continue this push until Tsukki’s falling awkwardly onto the bed and Yamaguchi is giggling. Everything in Yamaguchi’s body is telling him to climb on top of Tsukki and keep kissing him until the world crumbles around them, but he also knows that this is the second time that they’ve kissed and he’s still trying to convey everything that he’s been feeling for the past several months. 

He sits next to him, pulling him up gently into his lips before allowing both of his hands to rest on Tsukki’s hips, holding onto them softly. They stay like this almost an hour, hands gliding to different places, head tilting back and forth, lips parting slightly, opening to let air in, an innocent slip of the tongue sparingly. 

The comfort between them settling back in full vengeance, making up for the small amount of uneasiness a few hours ago. Tsukki, much to his own dismay, pulls his head back, out of breath, and an assured smile on his face. “I’m sorry, Yams,” he breathes. 

“Sorry?” He’s taken aback for what feels like the 20th time tonight. What on Earth could he be sorry for at this moment? 

“I’m sorry for how weird I was today and that I didn’t text you last night.” Yamaguchi wants to repeatedly tell him that it’s okay and that he forgives him so quickly so that he can use his lips for his new favorite activity instead, but he lets Tsukki continue talking. “I was so overwhelmed by everything that happened, I just shut down, but it was stupid.” 

Yamaguchi nods, about to respond, but Tsukki shakes his head. “All I wanted was to kiss you again and I was worried that if I tried to text you, that’s all I would have said.”

“That would have been okay with me,” Yamaguchi admits, too honest for his own good sometimes. 

“No,” Tsukishima is shaking his head still as he answers. “No, because, what I should have been saying is that…” He’s quiet for a minute, contemplating whatever he’s about to say. “I’m really glad that you were my first kiss and I like you and I think I have for a long time.”

Yamaguchi just blinks. He can’t formulate a sentence, can’t even think about how words work at this moment in time. He had never, not for a single second, thought that he’d taken his first kiss or that, even though only instants ago they were practically making out, Tsukki could have liked him. Words are not his friend right now, so he kisses him again, hard, before pulling away and nodding fervently at him. He kisses him again, hard, pulling away and holding his cheeks, hoping that despite the fact that his brain is useless right now in the vocal department, he’ll understand what he means. 

He assumes that he does when a smile spreads across his face. As much as Yamaguchi wants to devote all of his remaining brainpower to kissing Tsukki, he needs him to hear it too. He deserves it. “I like you a lot, like a lot a lot, like maybe love, maybe.” That’s not exactly what he wanted to say, but he’d be lying if it wasn’t the truth. 

The look on Tsukki’s face translates into the purest form of “I didn’t really know that love is on the table.” He’s blushing so hard that it’s spreading to his collarbones. He doesn’t return the word, but Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to mind. He kisses him again. 

There’s plenty of time for copious amounts of shared music and the L word. 

They hear the door open downstairs, but they’re not as surprised this time, not when they are overly aware of every sensation that’s taking place right now. The same pair of question and answer leave her mouth as the door shuts behind her. “Dashi! Is Kei here?” … “Is he staying for dinner?”

This time, Tsukki nods vigorously, trying, but failing, to not seem too eager. A smile tugs on the corners of Yamaguchi’s lips so viciously that they hurt. “Yeah!” Then, without confirmation from his best friend or even thinking twice, he powers on, “Can Tsukki stay the night?” 

Like he said, plenty of time for copious amounts of shared music and the L word. 

**Author's Note:**

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